well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
