butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
