i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize