Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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