I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
