I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
