its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
