Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
