I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
apparently the secret to your success is patron
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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