I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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