just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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