he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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