You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
