Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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