I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
