I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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