oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
