Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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