Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
