I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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