Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
