Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
