Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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