Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
