Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
