the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
