I could make wine with my vomit
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
