Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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