i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My vagina is officially offended.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
