Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
