Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
