So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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