So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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