I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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