I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
