TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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