can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
