Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
