With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
