i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
