ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
