I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
