that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
