My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
