Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
