just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
