Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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