4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
