You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
