nut hugger
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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