Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
