Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
